Chapter 10 - From Darkness To Light
By Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami
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LESSON 64
The Light of Understanding
People speak of the "light of understanding." Before the bright light of
spiritual perception is experienced, the light of understanding must be laid as a
foundation of philosophical training and appreciation-learning to understand life,
for instance, through action rather than reaction. The purified, integrated mind,
so perfected in its own understanding, lives in close communion with the soul radiance
so that light becomes the constant experience of the mind. It is this to which the
yoga student aspires. Living in the light, everything that formerly was hidden
becomes revealed. Answers to questions that you had been pondering for many years
become instantaneously unraveled in the light of the superconscious. But the mind
has a way, in its instinctive, intellectual nature, of casting shadows over the natural
radiance of the inner light. Doubt is the by product of the intellect's inability
to cope with light. When a person depends upon memory or reason for meaningful answers,
the mind will break down in doubt. Only when the higher elucidation of the intuition
is sought is doubt dispelled. When the instinctive mind becomes lifted into the light,
a person is strong enough to be kind when he could have become angry. He generates
enough spiritual power to be generous when he might have reacted selfishly. Disciplined
periods of meditation nurture a magnanimous and benevolent nature. Such a being is
naturally in the light of the supreme consciousness. His great strength is humility,
a shock absorber for the malicious experiences in life. Humility makes one immune
to resentment and places everything in proportion and balance within the mind.
A person lacking in humility does not give the appear-ance of being firmly
rooted and poised within himself. At the other extreme, the arrogant person who lives
in the shadows of the mind presents a pitiful picture of in-security and incompleteness.
Seeking for God in the depths of one's being through control of the mind, con-trol
of one’s thoughts, feelings and emotions, gives birth to the highest qualities of
nature. This transformation begins to take place as the light of the soul becomes
more and more apparent within the mind. The spiritual path is a constant turning
within, turning the light of the superconscious into the dark corners and recesses
of the mind. "What is hidden shall be revealed," and so it is on this path
as man reveals his Self to himself. As you sit in meditation in a darkened room,
practice directing your consciousness inward, to the center of your brain. If you
are able to perceive light within your body, you are on the path to immortality.
But should darkness prevail, work diligently each day to clear out resentment, jealousy,
fear, worry and doubt from your nature. Then you can sit in a darkened room and be
a being of light. The next time you are in a state of worldliness jealous-angry or
feeling sorry for yourself sit down and seek for the light. If you cannot find it,
visualize a light bulb within your head or a flashlight at the top of your head shining
down into it. Flash the light on and off mentally, and when the flashlight does not
go off, even if you have mentally turned off the switch, then you know that you have
the inner light. You will watch awareness move out of the darker area of the mind.
It’s a wonderful feeling, and it’s a basic practice of the contemplative life of
living two-thirds within oneself and one-third in the external world. I'm often asked,
"Do I see light or do I just think that I am seeing light?" I reply, "If
you were in a darkened room, you would see light within you just as you’d see on
the outside if lights were on in the room or you were in broad daylight. This is
because you are seeing with your inner eye, your third eye, which you actually use
all of the time. You use your third eye, for example, when you study your subconscious
mind and see the memories of your past. The light around the memories is the inner
light. If it wasn’t there, you could not see your memories. Take away the mental
pictures, and the light alone is before you. You will learn to consciously use the
inner eye to see with as you spiritually unfold. All of a sudden, one day you will
realize that you are seeing light with your third eye at the same time you are seeing
physical things with your two physical eyes. The inner light is so beautiful. It
is firm, like a plasma. It is sometimes fibrous and full of energy. And yet, it is
quiet and full of colors. You begin to see color, and in that realm you can hear
color at the same time that you see color. You can hear sound and see color all at
the same time, and you have the faculty to turn hearing on and to turn hearing off,
because you hear with an inner ear. This is, of course, very useful in daily life.
When you listen to someone talking, you begin to know exactly what they are meaning
because of your listening through your inner ear. When you look at someone, you know
exactly Where they are in consciousness, because you are looking at them with your
inner eye.
LESSON 65
Disappointment,
Discouragement
Another instinctive response to the ebb and flow of life force is disappointment,
which intensified becomes discouragement, depression and despair. These three negative
states are obstacles to all human endeavor, especially for the spiritual seeker,
who must learn early to regulate, control and balance the emotional ups and downs
so well that he never experiences discouragement, which is nothing more than an imbalance
of force. Life tests and retests our emotional maturity. Whether we meet those tests
or fail is entirely up to us. On the saivite path, the satguru gives the tests
in order to mold and strengthen the seeker's character. Great strength of character
is required to attain spiritual goals, enormous courage and forbearance, and anyone
who lacks that strength and stamina will cease striving long before full realization
is attained. Therefore, to bring out the natural strengths, the guru will
offer challenges. He knows that we all fall short of our own expectations now and
again, and that we react either positively by reaffirmation or negatively through
discouragement. As the tests of life present themselves, the satguru will
observe the seeker's response time and time again until his emotional body grows
strong enough to combat negative reaction to what appears to be failure and later
to absorb within itself all reaction to disappointment, the father of discouragement.
It is the day-to-day reactions to circumstance that indicate the attainment and not
mere recorded knowledge about the path. When the aspirant is able to meet ordinary
happenings and respond to them in the effortless wisdom born of detachment, that
indicates that his striving is genuine. When he is able to encounter conditions that
send ordinary people into states of disappointment or discouragement and when his
emotional nature indicates mastery over these lesser states of consciousness, he
is well on his way toward filling the gaps of a natural growth of the in-stinctive
vehicles - body, emotions and intellect. But to attain emotional stability, recognition
of those vulnerable areas must be cultivated. It is quite natural to encounter circumstances
that are potential sources of disappointment. The very recognition and admission
are half of the necessary adjustments. As one set of conditions is resolved, another
set of a more intense vibration arises naturally to be mastered. With disappointment
reined in, the aspirant next faces tendencies of discouragement, then depression
and finally despair, for they are all linked together in the instinctive nature of
humankind. Once he recognizes these states as belonging to all men and ceases to
identify them as personal tendencies, he is then able to cognize its source and convert
it. In this way the emotional nature matures under the loving guidance of the spiritual
teacher.
LESSON 66
Emotional
Maturity
What is emotional maturity? It certainly is not to be equated with physical age.
I know people who are well past middle life and are not yet emotionally mature. Even
if the physical body is totally mature, the intellect, as well as the emotional unit,
can remain childish and unstable. The mind may have been educated to the nth degree,
and yet such a scholar remains vulnerable to depression and discouragement. The very
first step toward emotional mastery is recognition coupled with admission that in
some areas we are not
yet perfect. Only through open admission can we devote ourselves to the sadhana*
that will balance and lessen the forces, allowing us to strive within ourselves
to secure ourselves within ourselves. An emotionally mature man or woman is totally
secure within and prepared to tap the greater realms of spiritual being. We make
very little progress when we strive to conquer these baser instincts in a good mood.
However, vast strides are possible when we are miserable and work with ourselves
to replace our misery with joy and understanding. Therefore, if you are ever disappointed
or discouraged, count it a blessing, for you then have the opportunity to conquer
the instinctive nature and really stabilize yourself dynamically on the spiritual
path. Often we are disappointed not only with ourselves and our circumstances but
with other people as well. We can oversee this and other instinctive responses, such
as mental criticism or jealousy, by looking at everyone and saying to ourselves,
"I like you. I send you blessings." We cannot be discouraged or disappointed
or jealous when we look our fellow man in the eye and say and simultaneously feel
and believe through every atom of our being, "I like you. I send you blessings."
Impossible! Love overcomes all instinctive barriers between people. There may be
certain people or a certain person to whom you can say, "I like you," but
for whom this is hard to believe in your heart. If you look deeper into them, you
may find they are emotionally immature, a 12-year-old emotional body walking around
in a 35-year-old physical body. Are you going to dislike a person for that? No, of
course not. You are going to understand him or her. I've seen people with 22-year-old
bodies with the wisdom of an 80-year old and the emotional stability of a 40-year
old. I've seen people walking around in a 60-year-old body with a 12-year-old
emotional body. By learning to understand, we cease to be a personality leaning upon
our fellow man and falling into disappointment when he lets us down. No, we must
lean on no one but ourselves, our own spine, and not be the reactionary victims of
the ups and downs of the world around us or the people around us. Then we will gain
our freedom from the instinctive forces we were born into and attain sufficient emotional
maturity to love and bless the world no matter what our circumstances may be.
LESSON 67
Understanding Other People
Love is the source of understanding.You know intellectually that within
you resides the potential, expressed or not, for all human emotion, thought and action.
Yet, you no doubt meet or observe people occasionally whose life and actions are
repellent or unacceptable to you. The absence of love has created a vacuum of understanding.
For the meditating person, there should not be a single human being whose actions,
habits, opinions or conduct lies beyond your ability to love and understand. Try
this. This week look at everyone you meet, and feel, from your finger tips right
down to your toes, love welling up from your deepest resources and radiating out
to them through every cell of your body and especially through your face. Say to
yourself, "I like you" - and really feel it. There are many thousands of
things that most people do not understand from their confused states of mind, and
they therefore act in unseemly ways, due to the ignorance of past karma. Should
their ignorance confuse you?
Should it cloud your own understanding? Certainly not! We do not love the flower
and hate the muddy roots from which it grew, and we cannot hate the instinctive roots
of mankind. With understanding, a great thing happens - your life becomes even, balanced
and sublime. The ups and downs within yourself level out, and you find yourself the
same in every circumstance, find yourself big enough to overcome and small enough
to understand. Then you can really begin to do something. When emotional ups and
downs are allowed, what happens? Your poor nerve system is terribly strained in a
constant state of frenzy and uncertainty. All of your energies are then devoted to
coping with yourself, and not much is reserved to accomplish creative, productive
projects. As your life evens out by using the great power of understanding, the emotional
self of you heals and grows strong. Your nervous system, believe it or not, grows,
and it grows strong if you feed it correctly by handling your mind. Understanding
is the best nourishment for the emotional body. You must have a basis for understanding
your fellow man, and a very good basis is: "I perceive him with my two physical
eyes. He appears to be forty years old, but I intuit him to be emotionally a little
younger and mentally about sixty - a learned person. I know he is a being of pure
awareness going through the experiences he needs to evolve further. Therefore, I
shall understand him in this light and make allowances accordingly." This is
not something to think about and appreciate philosophically. It must become as much
a part of you as your hands and feet. It's an easy process if we apply it and a difficult
process if we ignore its practice. Understanding, loving and making aIlowances these
are the strengths of the soul awakened through saddhana*. Once the emotional
ups and downs and the barriers of the instinctive influences of fear, jealousy, anger,
deceit and disappointment are conquered. If you are creative, you will begin to truly
create. If you are a mystic, you will have deeper and ever more fulfilling insights
in your daily meditations. All of the mysteries of life will unfold before your inner
vision once the instinctive mind is mastered in your life.
*sadhana : "Effective means of attainment." Religious or spiritual
disciplines, such as puja, yoga, meditation, japa, fasting and austerity.
The effect of sadhana is the building of willpower, faith and confidence in
oneself and in God, Gods and guru. Sadhana harnesses and transmutes the instinctive-intellectual
nature, allowing progressive spiritual unfoldment into the su-perconscious realizations
and innate abilities of the soul.